Its about making memories worth repressing
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
