$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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