Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize