Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Text me some of your sweat
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
