when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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