Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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