I accidentally had phone sex last night
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Never joke about your clitoris.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
