My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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