This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
