I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
