There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
