her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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