you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
