Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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