I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
