apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Did I show you my penis last night?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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