You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
