Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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