He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
