My liver just broke up with me...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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