Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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