i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
