it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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