i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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