it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
