Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I had to cum in my sink.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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