She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
