yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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