I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
