please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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