I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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