So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
