I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
