frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
