I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
