Got a toothbrush?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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