You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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