Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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