shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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