chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
