What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
