There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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