I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize