i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
