using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize