I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
FUCK WHALES
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
