Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
