i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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