what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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