It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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