I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
