He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
