So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
