the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
