Screwed.edu
I hope mine doesn't look like that
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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