We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
