the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
