ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
