She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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