i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
