Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
